You got a friend on FaceBook!!

 Let the rock fight begin!!

Connect on Facebook

Send me a friend request.

Let’s get some shit going on FaceBook!

Yes, it’s me Johnny Shitterowski alive an kickin’ on Facebook. Got myself on Facebook. Check it out, send me a friend request. Let’s have some god damn fun!

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Johnny Shitterowski’s New Book

Go Out and Do Something Good for Someone Other Than Yourself and Shut Up!

Following the success of such motivational books as The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Johnny Shitterowski is working on his own book. The title of this book is Go Out and Do Something Good for Someone Other Than Yourself and Shut Up!

According to Johnny Shitterowski, Shitski to his friends, the most important part is to shut up! It doesn’t make any sense at all, according to Shitski, to do something for someone and then brag about it or accept honors for it because you’re really doing it so you can feel good about yourself. Or worse, to compensate for being a miserable prick to friends, neighbors, and employees. According to the book, no matter how much you give it won’t help you. What you need is a good kick in the balls by your lowest paid employees.

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Happy New Year from Fat Rats Ass!

Predictions for 2012

Predictions for 2012

We over here at Fat Rats Ass want to wish all our friends a Happy New Year!! Here at Fat Rats Ass we have gotten busy compiling all the statistics, facts, and figures in preparation for awarding our annual honor of the Most Miserable State in America.

This prestigious award is based on five measures of the social condition as ranked by nationally known organizations: education, health, wages, unemployment, and bankruptcy. Each of the states are ranked from worst to first and then color coded red or blue based on how that state voted in the last presidential election. You don’t want to be at the top of this list. Most of all you don’t want to congressional delegation from the top 10 states influencing politics and bringing their talent for leadership to your state. Continue reading

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Clash of the Republican Wife Cheaters

The battle of the republican wife cheaters has finally ended with Newt “Back Door Man

Herman Can't Remember

I Don't Remeber

Gingrich beating out Herman “Masher” Cain. It started out simple enough and nobody but nobody saw this battle coming. It began when Herman “Masher” Cain was accused of having an affair and he replied that he could not remember a thing about it.

Newt "Back Door Man" Gingrich

"He's lying", said Back Door Man Gingrich.

Hearing this Newt “Back Door Man” Gingrich began a rumor that the Masher was lying. As the circle of women gathered around Masher Cain he found it increasingly difficult get a boner and this worried a lot of women.

I Only Banged One

I Only Banged One

Thinking the best thing to do was to come clean Masher admitted to having an affair with one woman. “It was only one that I banged and I was doing her a favor. Just ask her.” Satisfied that this was the end of Masher Cain, Newt “Back Door Man” Gingrich rested easy. When, lo and behold who appears on the horizon? Is that Mr. Clean I see, no it’s Mitt Romney! Mitt accused Newt of being the biggest masher in DC. Continue reading

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Salami Swallower Michele Bachmann

Michele Bachmann Wins Sausage Swallowing Contest

Michele Bachmann wins the sausage swallowing contest at the Idaho State Fair.

Capping a tour de force of the Iowa Caucus Michele Bachmann outdid all competitors when she competed in and won the Salami Swallowing contest at the Iowa State Fair. A previously unknown talent of hers, Michele says she is a  “salami swallower from way back”. Michele eagerly two fisted the dry shriveled monstrosity and made it disappear in a salami swallowing feat not previously seen at the state fair. Salami swallowing comes naturally to Michele Bachman. It’s a talent that, she says, “you either have or you don’t and I damn sure got it. For me salami swallowing is a God given gift.” Asked if this was the biggest salami she ever swallowed she replied, “no, I’ve swallowed salami much larger but that was fresh moist salami. The salami I swallowed in the contest was too dry and scratched my throat.” Continue reading

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Pat Tillman, an American Hero

When Pat Tillman joined the Army he got a personal letter from Don Rumsfeld. Before Pat Tillman was killed President George Bush had plans to honor him at an event. After Pat Tillman was killed these sick little screws and their suckups thought they hit the political message jackpot by portraying Pat Tillman as a supporter of their wars. Their only problem is that Pat Tillman did not support their war or their political party. Continue reading

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Warren Buffett mans up. Why can’t Eric Cantor?

Probably because Eric Cantor doesn’t give a shit about America.

Sick of being associated with rich whining punks crying poor mouth, Warren Buffett took out an ad in the New York Times and bitch slapped these pukes who for the most part are republicans. Continue reading

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Super Bowl Prediction: a team from a blue state will win

Even football tends to be better in the blue states. Take a look at the chart below. Football is a complex game with a lot of the complexity taking place Monday through Saturday. It’s a game for an intelligent individual with a developed sense of humility. Both are qualities found in abundance in blue states. Continue reading

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Worst States for Education

Here we go with the final contributing measure to determining the Worst State in America…education. It just figures that if you ain’t got your shit together up in your brains then all you are gonna do is screw shit up for the rest of America and you should just keep your god damn mouth shut and stick with the winners. But then again, your probably too stupid to do that. Continue reading

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Worst States for Health

OK, this is no joke, we’re getting right down to the nitty-gritty here, this is life or death. You’re gonna die sooner rather than later if you live here and there ain’t a christian in sight to help you. Look at the assholes we got here. Continue reading

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